His Love

I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world. Through Him, I can return to my Heavenly Father if I repent of my sins and follow the commandments of the Lord. I'm grateful for the atonement, and I love Jesus Christ and God with all my heart. I wrote this song and music from my heart, and I hope you like it.

For me, the Lord has come

To wash away my sins.

He held my life in his hands,

And gave it back to me.

He freed me from the chains of death,

Brought life to all the world.

Through Him I'll gain eternal rest

From pain too great to bear.

His love, my God, I praise.

I know I can return someday.

My family will be there too

Because Christ has shown us the way to live.

I'll follow Him with all my heart.

His love, my God, I praise.

Want Answers?

He Is

I have always been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have always had a testimony of the truthfulness of His Gospel, so I've never really thought about why I could never leave -- until now.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a very real and personal thing. He made it possible for us to return Home to our loving Father; He made it possible for our sins to be forgiven. But the Atonement is more than that. 

In Alma Chapter 7, verses 11-13 it says: "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me." 

Whatever pain, whatever sorrow - great or small - He has felt and He understands. If we allow Him, He WILL take that from us. He wants us to give it to Him. I have come to understand that I don't need to suffer for anything; He already has. I have felt His love and mercy countless times in my life. I have seen what His love has done for others. 

Recently, my sister passed away. The only way I have been able to get through this trial is by giving my sorrows to Him and allowing Him to take my pain. He's already felt this, I don't need to suffer the pain alone. 

Yes, I am still tremendously sad about losing my sister. But I have felt joy as well. Without the Gospel, without the Church, I wouldn't feel the joy; I would only feel sorrow and sadness.

In Doctrine and Covenants Section 76, verses 22-23, it says: "And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God..."

I have not seen my Savior in the flesh, but I know He lives! I know He bore my burdens for me in Gethsemane. I am continually encircled about in the arms of His love. I know He loves me. 

I have a testimony of His Church and that is why I could never leave.

What it Takes

When I initially heard the topic, “why I could never leave,” my mind was brought back to my mission. I could think of quite a few reasons that came in that short year and a half. That is where I came to know of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, it is where I began to understand the Atonement.

These things became the “why” for me. I was convinced then that I could never leave, because Christ and His gospel had, simply put, changed my life.

And with that conviction I often wondered how others with those same life changing experiences could return home only to stray.

Well, I think a man in my ward summed it up nicely. In a testimony meeting, he shared his experience of sustaining an injury from falling out of bed. He stated that he had fallen because he hadn’t been far enough in. “Perhaps,” he suggested, “that is why so many people fall out of the church. They’re just not far enough in.”

I know this may seem to be moving away from my train of thought, but stick with me please, it will come back around.

The Book of Mormon changed my life. Applying its teachings changed me in a way I never thought imaginable. I was certain I could never miss a day of serious study. But guess how long it takes to break that commitment? Well, it’s not very long.

There are innumerable reasons I could never leave, but those reasons aren’t all that keep me in. During my mission, I knew I could never leave, and after reflecting on this topic, I’ve discovered why. I couldn’t fall out because I was “far enough in.” I was immersed in the gospel.

There are many reasons motivating me to stay, but testimonies fade as they go malnourished, and strong reasoning soon becomes forgotten. So, because I have the reasons, perhaps the statement I need to be pondering is not “why I could never leave,” but “what I am going to do to make sure I don't stray.”

I want to do it. I need to stay. I yearn for perfection, but the course is long and narrow. The great “why” to never leave that trail lies at the end—eternal life and joy with our families. I just pray we can do what it takes to never stray.

It's Savings Time

Helpful Hint #1: Last Sunday was Daylight Savings Time

My husband and I don't watch very much T.V. these days. We don't have smart phones, either. We don't own a wall calendar, and we (quite honestly) would rather spend a Friday night eating ice cream at home than partying it up.

I promise this information will be relevant soon.

Last Sunday, we awoke at a leisurely pace. Church isn't until 1 P.M. So, it would be fairly difficult to sleep too late. We got ready for the day. I even did my hair. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves, because it appeared that we would be on time to church. This is important because it's extremely difficult to find a seat in Relief Society if you're late. (It's important for other reasons, too, of course.) Just before leaving, my husband took a look at his phone.

"Stupid phone, it thinks it's 1:48," he exclaims from the other room.
"What's that you say? Let me check my phone."
Same thing.

Check the computers.
Same thing.

Google: "Daylight Savings Time."
Yup. March 11, 2012.

Blast.
We totally meant to be on time.

My husband and I had every intention to make it to church early. We did everything we knew how to do in order to get there. The problem is this: we didn't have all the information. Why didn't anybody tell us?

Lately, I think about missionary work a lot.

Honestly, I've never been very good at it. I get nervous about sharing something as intimate as my testimony with those who may not accept what I believe. They may mock it. They make boil me down to a simple stereotype. They might even think that I was out of line.

Or, at least, those are the kinds of thoughts I ascribe to those with which I might share.

But this Daylight Savings 2012 Debacle made me think twice.

There are a lot of good people around us. And most of them are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have. They have every intention of making it to church on time, so to speak. And when they discover the truth, they may ask, "Why didn't anybody tell me?"

My best friend knew. Why didn't she tell me?
My neighbor knew. Why didn't he tell me?

One of my favorite accounts in the scriptures is the description of Peter walking on the water. The apostles are out to sea. Christ sees them and takes the fastest way to reach them -- it just happens to be by walking on the water. Upon seeing this, the apostles are scared. They think it's some sort of ghost, or something. Christ tells them to fear not. Peter, desiring with all his heart to be with Christ, asks if he, too, can walk on water. Christ bids him to come unto him. Peter boldly steps out of the boat -- taking his first steps to Christ. But then he falters. He takes his gaze off Christ and looks about at the raging sea. He fears and starts to sink. Crying out to the only one who can save him, he reaches for Christ. Christ, being the savior of all mankind (and the savior of one), reaches back, grabs Peter, and saves him.

I love this account for so many reasons. But for the purpose of this post, I will say just this: Christ is in the business of saving souls. Ought we to do the same? At least, ought I?

Helpful Hint #2: Christ is the Savior -- my personal redeemer. Through him we can return to our Father in Heaven. We can be eternally with our families. And we can be sustained through our trials. I wanted to tell you this because I'm grateful every day that somebody told me.

Helpful Hint #3: Daylight Savings Time 2013 (spring forward) begins Sunday, March 10, 2013.

Why I Could Never Leave

"The answers we have a far greater than our questions."

Recently, I had the opportunity to hear Elder Holland bear his testimony. In this amazing meeting he said something close to the quote above. I'll never forget it. He talked about being worried about the people who leave the church. I can relate -- maybe not on the same level, but still. He said he struggled with the reasons why people leave. 

There's a publication, he mentioned, written by well-meaning people that addresses this very issue. It's called, Why I Stay: Challenges of Discipleship for Contemporary Mormons. The title is pretty self-explanatory, but (basically) it seems (note: I haven't actually read the book) to be written by people who, despite a few conflicting opinions, have decided to remain faithful in the church. Sounds pretty good, right? 

But Elder Holland suggested a slight modification to the title. The change: Instead of Why I Stay, how about calling it Why I Could Never Leave. This  implies a shift in focus. Instead of a focus on questions, we would focus on answers. Maybe that means we would spend more time focusing on Christ -- our answer.

I find the statement Why I Could Never Leave much more invigorating, edifying and intellectually exciting. So, I want to invite you to join me in shifting focus. 

Here on The 20-something Testament, I'm going to be starting my first (of many, hopefully) series! (In order to justify my use of an explanation point, I'm going to imagine you are sitting on the edge of your seat with anticipation now.) I hope you join me in sharing with the world the reason(s) why you could never leave. 

If you'd like to be the author of a featured post within this series (and I'd LOVE to have you), please email me at 20somethingtest@gmail.com. If you'd like to share just a quick thought, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you. 

Go ahead and grab a button. You can write your story on your blog and link up to the party here on The 20-something Testament. Tell your friends. Share your faith.

And I'll try to do the same.

Thanks, friends. I can't wait to hear from you.

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The Power in a Particle

“Now, as I said concerning faith – that it was not a perfect knowledge – even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.
“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”  (Alma 32:26-27)
                                                                                                                 
I did not want to go to the singles ward. I had bad memories of it being a place of lost souls – of people who seemed to have given up hope. Please, let me go anywhere but that ward, I thought as I moved back in with my parents after graduation. My family and I not so affectionately called this tiny branch-turned-ward “The Twig.” Hoping to avoid the depths of The Twig, I ward hopped/shopped for about a month before my conscience caught up with me. I should give the ole Twig another go.

Here’s the thing: Despite the cynicism, I really wanted it to work.

So, I changed my attitude. I went in thinking that I would give it my all. And I did. I participated in all the activities. I raised my hand in class. I even got a little calling. And guess what: this “dreaded” ward ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me. My testimony grew like no other. I truly felt connected to the people around me. I was happy. Oh, and I fell in love with my then husband-to-be. What a perk!

See that? I could no more than “desire to believe.” But that desire turned into faith. And that tiny particle of faith got me everything.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far in my twenty-something life: when I give a little, just a tiny seed of faith, my Heavenly Father returns the favor tenfold. He must have some kind of crazy fertilizer. He made my tiny particle – my tiny seed – of faith grow into a tree.

But that doesn’t mean my faith hasn’t been tested or tried. Oh boy, have those storms and trials come. There have certainly been times when I felt my faith waver, times when I’ve felt alone.

Not too long ago, I was going through a difficult time with my health. Things were pretty bad. Because of this health condition, I had a hard time feeling the spirit. This guide I had been blessed with when I was eight, and I had grown accustomed to feeling through time, seemed suddenly silent.

One day, after starting a brand new medication, I fainted while I was in the shower. If you’ve passed out before, you know how scary this is. I literally felt like I was going to die. I remember thinking, “This has to end.” I got out of the shower. Nobody was home. And I sobbed. What was happening? When did my life get so dark? Why did God abandon me now?

My fiancé came over and all I could do was cry. I laid on the couch for half the day. I wasn’t talking. Everyone was worried about me. My mom considered taking me to the hospital, but, after some coaxing, I finally got up.

Here’s what I realized. I was not abandoned. I was never alone, and I never have been. If I had fallen the other way while in the shower, I could have been seriously injured. Instead, there was just a bunch of shampoo on the shower floor. Somebody was watching out for me. I had a fiancé and a family who cared for me and got me well again. Somebody was looking out for me. I had received a letter in the mail with some encouraging words a couple days before this incident. These words helped me gain insight only after my trial. I tell you, somebody was looking out for me.

I had a particle of faith – Somebody made that work for me.

I’m not sure how Christ does it, but He can make the best out of any situation. I came out of that seemingly overdramatic incident (but nonetheless real to me) better. My faith has grown because of the storm.

So, why could I never leave this church?

Well, you see, I have this particle of faith. And that’s a powerful thing.